... and now also beyond sleep deprived. Whatever odd ramblings fall out of my head here at 1.05am, I shall keep them to laugh at one day when madame refuses to get out of bed before 2pm.
To follow up yesterday's whine about being fat, I decided to do something constructive, so got googling no-effort instant fixes for the fat. My findings:
Lipo- I'm not paying out thousands for anything that isn't guaranteed instant permanent results, even if I had the money. I mean by this that for the price of a luxury holiday I expect to be able to lie around all day eating custard creams and stay at one stone. When I add together all my problem areas, ie anything above my toes, it runs into 5 figure sums. Ironic that the fees mean I could have the holiday or the bikini body but not both... Plus, OUCH.
Laser Lipo- I'm not paying out a couple of hundred a month for the rest of my life for minimal change- at that point I might as well do something radical like diet and exercise. Plus every treatment that doesn't involve general anaesthetic seems to call itself laser lipo, starting at the top with treatments that sound pretty painful and surgical to me, despite calling themselves otherwise, to the other end of the scale where someone rubs goop into you while you read a magazine, presumably to distract yourself from the fact that nothing's actually happening.
All the other lipos with their trendy names of the moment and TMs. Basically either the first or second above, just usually impossible to find a price.
Which leaves girdles. I'm not paying out around £100 for a bit of elastic, even if it would clearly deliver as promised and be returnable if not. Why not? No idea- probably seems too cheap and easy in the long run, plus if and when I lose those 2 stone, it wouldn't fit any more. No, I wouldn't need it, but that's not the point, or is it? If only I could get a compression garment for my brain.
Which leaves - holding my stomach in, or the Tupler Technique, as it's called for a DVD and price. Breathe in.