Still Fat

... and now also beyond sleep deprived.  Whatever odd ramblings fall out of my head here at 1.05am, I shall keep them to laugh at one day when madame refuses to get out of bed before 2pm.

To follow up yesterday's whine about being fat, I decided to do something constructive, so got googling no-effort instant fixes for the fat.  My findings:

Lipo- I'm not paying out thousands for anything that isn't guaranteed instant permanent results, even if I had the money.  I mean by this that for the price of a luxury holiday I expect to be able to lie around all day eating custard creams and stay at one stone.  When I add together all my problem areas, ie anything above my toes, it runs into 5 figure sums. Ironic that the fees mean I could have the holiday or the bikini body but not both... Plus, OUCH.

Laser Lipo- I'm not paying out a couple of hundred a month for the rest of my life for minimal change- at that point I might as well do something radical like diet and exercise. Plus every treatment that doesn't involve general anaesthetic seems to call itself laser lipo, starting at the top with treatments that sound pretty painful and surgical to me, despite calling themselves otherwise, to the other end of the scale where someone rubs goop into you while you read a magazine, presumably to distract yourself from the fact that nothing's actually happening.

All the other lipos with their trendy names of the moment and TMs.  Basically either the first or second above, just usually impossible to find a price.

Which leaves girdles.   I'm not paying out around £100 for a bit of elastic, even if it would clearly deliver as promised and be returnable if not. Why not? No idea- probably seems too cheap and easy in the long run, plus if and when I lose those 2 stone, it wouldn't fit any more. No, I wouldn't need it, but that's not the point, or is it? If only I could get a compression garment for my brain.

Which leaves - holding my stomach in, or the Tupler Technique, as it's called for a DVD and price. Breathe in.

Fat

I've got a dear friend coming over today and we're both a bit down in the dumps, so I thought I'd take it up a notch and weigh myself.  And I was right- the jeans haven't shrunk; I've crept back over the Xstone mark.

So I still have a stone to lose (two if I'm honest, but one would do very nicely thank you).

Here are my excuses/whinges:

I haven't had a full night's sleep for 5 months, in fact I haven't had more than 4 hours' continuous sleep in that time- it's usually 2 and at the moment I'm lucky and getting 3.  When I get up, therefore, I feel beyond tired, I feel like I'm running on empty and desperately need fuel to get through the day.

I tried cutting back and immediately felt even more dizzy than I do normally, which alarms me, since I'm in charge of a person all day.

I'm still b-feeding.  That might make a difference?

Whenever I can, I go for long walks, 3 miles or so.  Then it snows again and scuppers it, or at best pours down with rain, which is not particularly conducive to pushing a pram about.

Did I mention that I'm REALLY tired?  I'm also stressed- there's a lot going on: the house, jobs, car trouble, basically every aspect of my 'life' is out of my control, very expensive and very stressful. 

Here is my motivation:

I have a friend coming over to the UK in July who I haven't seen for years and years.  She used to be a big girl, but now has 4 children and has started running a lot of marathons, so she's now stick thin and muscly.  I don't want to be a blob when we meet and there's 3 months between now and then.

I threw out a ton of clothes that I love last night- I was really upset to do so, but more upset to find they don't go anywhere near me.  Clearly, hanging on to them for when I'm thin again hasn't worked, and I don't like buying fat clothes, so it's this one pair of stretch jeans until the situation improves.  I couldn't bear to throw out one top which took ages to knit, so I hope that might motivate me as well. It's this one- not the best photo, but behold waist.  And I've just discovered you can copy and paste on this thing...



Half the clothes I slung out were awful- they did for the office as I wasn't seen, but not how I want to be seen by new employers/collegues.  Most of the skirts were just there because they went round me, which is not good enough!

I don't think I eat vast amounts of things, just that they tend to be fatty, like cheese and salami to fill me up quickly, and I have to grab a bit when I can, so a sandwich or toast is quickest.  And food never seems to fill me up.  And other than making a decision to go out for a walk, including baby preparation time of half an hour, I don't really move around- I'm sitting with my eyes on her or sitting feeding her, or standing changing her, but as I can't let her out of my sight, there's no option for running around, other than getting dinner ready in 10 seconds flat.

I wish I had a plan, but if I lost a pound a week I'd be a stone lighter and a size smaller in time for friend's arrival, but even if I lost half that, I'd fit my one pair of jeans and not hang over the top of them, and definitely look better than I do now.

So- inconclusive.

I think this proves I have absolutely nothing to say...

...because I'm going to talk about crinkle.  I understand crinkle enhances a toy into becoming a stimulating sensory experience, but I put it to you that there is a a) time and b) a place for such stimulation and a) whilst falling asleep and b) in a pillow is not it/are not they ( I seem to have fallen into a syntax black hole).

So, much as we love the jungle themed baby gym, we were less than enamoured with Mr Lion's crinkly pillow mane, especially after watching little one complete a full and stimulating workout, to then drift gently into a nap, then be rudely awakened every single time she moved one atom of her being in the general direction of the crinkle.

Mr Lion underwent emergency surgery at dawn one sleep-deprived morning, and has never troubled us since.  It was for the best.

So, what have we learned?

We have learned that setting a one-week deadline to achieve things does not achieve those things, but instead leads us to avoid posting anything since August.


We are therefore going to draw a line under projects achieved and non, and move on.

Canopy and bumpers for the crib- sort of finished, as far as I need them at the moment

 Negroni Shirt- done...eventually.

 Knickers - not one but two pairs done, ACTUALLY

Swaddle bag - done, partial success, some fitting 'issues', but technically completed and since abandoned.

 Drill pouch - done

 Bedroom blind - what was I THINKING????

Chisel cosy - maybe in another lifetime. Not mine.

Actually, that's not too bad, now that I come to look at it.

I have two baby Xmas projects underway and so the new deadline for those is obviously looming.  They've been on the go since October in 5 min sessions when I can.  Hopefully the end is nigh on both counts.

Unfeasible plan for next week

After the Ravellenics, I suddenly found myself with NOTHING to knit.  No idea how this is possible, other than I have a million clothes and nothing to wear and my current situation is following the same laws of physics.

Anyway, I thought this would be a chance to get back into sewing and if I do one project a day, I'll be pretty much clear to get back into knitting stress again the following week.  How we'll laugh that I still believe this is possible.

Today- Canopy and bumpers for the crib, as she's likely to start sleeping in there from tonight as we all keep waking each other up with our respective noise and it's way too hot in the room with the door shut, but if it's open, she stares madly at the light outside and wakes with the dawn.  This way, she'll sleep and I get to listen out for her all night from further away...

Saturday- getting the buttons finally onto Rich's Negroni Shirt.

Sunday- Sewing a pair of  Knickers - the hardest part will be deciding which size I think I am.

Monday-making a swaddle bag as she's growing out of her swaddle pod, none of the other designs are what I want, and our sleep depends on this.

Tuesday- Parents over, so will try to get elastic onto Rich's drill pouch today or tomorrow

Wednesday- friend over, so unlikely to get anything done- especially the bedroom blind on my list.

Thursday - chisel cosy to go with spanner cosy- saving the best for last.

less than 12 hours to fail to get the first project done...

Craft since the birth- the good, the bad, and the overambitious

Well, life has changed somewhat since the last post.

I have got behind with blogging, and therefore have stopped putting on new posts as I have old posts backing up.  It's lovely that this is all I have to worry about, really.

So- today I am going to put up everything I've managed to make since the little one came along, then I will put up a list of overambitious projects I intend to do.  We shall see if I manage to do any of this before the week is out....

1- I did manage to find a use for the leftover denim from the maternity skirt- it's gone into being a haphazardly made tissue box cover, as yet unfinished, and a prototype for a birthday present for my mother.

2- The spanner cosy.  Rich desperately needed a spanner cosy (what man doesn't) and as I was about to go away for a week to rest, guilt got the better of me and it was completed somewhere after midnight, long after husband and baby had gone to bed.  I had to tiptoe into the bedroom midst their respective snoring, which was almost more than I could bear.  It is not my best work. It is finished.  The thread also decided to snap every couple of inches, which I haven't fathomed out a reason for yet, other than cheap IKEA thread, nasty IKEA fabric, ancient needle in machine, or the need for a service.  Anyway, it works, he loves it and I think it complements his manliness:

The picture has decided to turn itself around while uploading, yet is fine on the pc.  I have no clue what to do about this and would rather move on with my life, frankly.  Tutorial and superior spanner cosies here: soresourceful

3- Tissue box holder - For my mother's birthday, to go with her green living room and accent plum cushion.  And to have fun with buttons- really good fun to make, so much so that I even lined the thing.  The fabric and buttons came from a phone call to The Eternal Maker, which is safer than going in and still being there in open-mouthed wonder until being asked to leave.  And I took the opportunity to try a bound buttonhole for the opening, with no thought to the irony of buttons, buttons everywhere and not one to go through the buttonhole.  Tutorial here

Now- the toys.  These vary depending on sleep deprivation. However, they're done, so they're going on the list.

4- Timmy.  Love this- I'd all but finished it on the bus while still at work, but seeing that baby liked high contrast things to stare at gave me motivation to finish it.  Still needs a dummy, but I don't like the one on the pattern, so still hunting around.  I also changed the eyes to look like Timmy's and stuffed the ears slightly.  My greatest success over the last few weeks, I'd say.

I'm not even going to attempt to get these photos to line up- I'm typing on borrowed time as it is- very soon duty will call, loudly...

5- the ball that looks more like a brain.  I don't care- she likes it and it's saved me trying to make another load of squares into a garish jacket for her.

My first attempt at weaving on the Martha Stewart Knit and Weave Loom

and here is what was going to be a ball, but I couldn't be bothered, so it looks more like a brain, but she can grab it and stare at it, so I feel my work here is done.

6- Shaun the sheep mobile- I've waited years for an excuse to knit this.  Currently waiting for mother to put the faces on them, then I'll do the hats and scarves, but at least the sheep are done:



7- Sailor jumper- knitted in a week - I changed the wool from DK to chunky to make it quicker, but it's a bit stiff and shapeless and I can't afford to have any less shape at the moment.  Will probably knit it into a jacket next year.  Quite impressed by the wool- Wendy Supreme Chunky- nice sheen and doesn't dry your hands like most cotton. Under no illusion that I look like the Phildar lady...

8- and finally- the dreaded Mason Dixon After Dark Robe.  This was supposed to use up a ton of Louet flax yarn I'd bought years ago, and be a bath robe for the birth centre.  Even if I had got to the birth centre, it was still 10 weeks too late, but in fairness, I did carry my project bag around the hospital under the delusion that I would finish it while in labour....  So, not only did it only use up half of the yarn, I had to make the borders separately as I only have one ball of each colour, and one side is one badly, so has sagged.  But mostly I can blame the pattern- there's something wrong with the shoulders, so it doesn't sit right.  My options are to redo it with a similar pattern, or make it into something that doesn't have to fit, to use it all up, eg a Mason Dixon Big Dotty pattern on a throw.  Except I don't need a throw and don't know how big it will knit up, so stressing about that already....

How to make a maternity skirt for about a fiver

Going to brave the photo formatting once again and see if I can get a comprehensible 'How To' out before insanity strikes.

I managed to make a couple of skirts with belly bands attached, for pennies, thanks to various US blogs, so thought I'd put up my version of events. 

Really wanted a denim skirt for the spring/summer, seeing as jeans don't fit at the best of times, and this is not the best of times. 

First thing to look for- make sure the skirt is widest to go around your widest part, wherever that happens to be now, and that it will still be long enough if cut under your bump at this point.

So here it is: yes it IS very large and saggy.

Here's the point where the belly band is going to be attached:

 

The belly band.  I got a nice piece of jersey, as time was against, me, but it would be even cheaper and easier to get an old T-shirt the same width as you want the band, so you'd just have to slice it up, with no measuring, cutting out and no side seams.

 The blogs I followed said to use the measurements from an existing garment with belly band, which meant no guesswork and no wondering which bits to measure.  I made mine a tiny bit larger for ease with one piece of jersey twice the height needed, plus hem, and joined at the side to make a tube.  I used the softest waistband elastic I could find, which turned out to be buttonholing, made a circle large enough to stretch over the bump, but small enough to sit comfortably above or below, without cutting or falling down:

Next job is attaching all the bits: fold the jersey over, pin the elastic up into the fold and stitch with a stretchy stitch

 .

Then, using the new pins you used this as an excuse to buy

Pin and sew band to skirt and neaten seam, again using a stretch stitch and stretching the band slightly to fit snugly,

taking care not to stitch over any pins,

and that's it! I think the whole thing took under half an hour. The skirt's been transformed from a big long droopy thing, to a just below the knee full skirt that has proved essential for weekends and 'smarter' slobbing around at home.

Only thing I'd change now is that as the bump has got bigger, the band wants to sit below it, which means if I'm not wearing the right top, letting it all hang out, which is not my thing, or ride up above it, which is fine unless there's anyone else or a mirror around, as what this does is put all the fullness of the skirt around my widest point and it's the lampshade effect all over again.  

A longer band would have corrected this, but how was I to know- and it's certainly not information I will be able to use again in future.  Ever.

You could also just make a taller belly band and use it to fill the gap between tops riding up and bottoms riding down, for a fraction of what they cost to buy, just neatening up the bottom, rather than attaching it to a skirt. Again, too late now, possibly.  Well, by the time I got round to doing it, it certainly would be. 

Next stop is to finish Rich's shirt that seemed like a really good idea at the time....

 

Finally- I kept the cut off part of the skirt- why???